Spring Is Here. Is Everyone Fucking Happy Now?

The Vernal Equinox made quite the arrival in America's heartland this year. Yeah, the first day of spring brought us about six inches of snow. Well timed considering that was the day we'd planned an outdoor-themed party to coincide closely with my son's birthday and Easter. So much for those plans.

We rescheduled the party one week later, a day on which it turned out rain was forecast with an 80% probability and temperatures in the high 40s. This, of course, came on the heels of two days in the low 70s.

Oh, but everyone loves Spring. And it drives me fucking crazy.

The root of the problem is that 90% of the public seems entirely intolerant of winter. They shudder at the idea of sub-freezing temperatures. God forbid should you have to wear a coat and hat.

So now spring comes around and hits us with our first round of mild temperatures for the year, and everyone has such a hard-on for "nice" weather that we have to hear about it non-fucking-stop. One day at work last week, with outdoor temperatures around 70, I had three encounters within five minutes that reminded me just how much I'm annoyed by this.

First, I found myself in the elevator with someone I knew from a different department, and she said, "I just wish I could have stayed outside, as nice as it is today."

Upon returning to my floor, I went to our kitchen area for a water refill and ran into a colleague who had to tell me that he and another co-worker were "conspiring to try to find a way to get network access outside so we could enjoy the weather."

After another polite acknowledgment, I returned to my desk, only to listen to the following voicemail: "Hey Steve, this is Larry. I hope you're out to lunch taking advantage of this great weather ... "

Fucking Christ. Give me a break, and get on with your fucking lives!

What really pisses me off is that it's not so fucking great in the first place. I don't know about everyone else, but I really don't like to mow my yard. Well, now's the time of year when I have to start doing it about once a week. And, oh by the way, I actually now have two fucking yards to mow!

And is it really worth it to have milder weather when the wind blows about 70 miles per hour every fucking day? Because that's what it's like here in the great Midwest. It's miserable.

The return of humidity, high winds, storms and yardwork. God love it! Seriously?!

Oh well, at least baseball is back.